I did a very clichéd and ridiculous thing last week, luckily I am mostly over the embarrassment and can now see some humour in the situation.
Imagine – if you will – that you are watching this in flickering black and white, accompanied by jaunty music bashed out on an upright piano…
Stupid Woman (SW) is spending a leisurely Sunday morning reading the news online. We see her comfortably ensconced on her chaise (OK – sofa), the morning sunlight glinting off her laptop. Something, however, is missing. I know, thinks SW – coffee! So off she goes and makes a pot of her favourite French vanilla, pours out a very big cupful of the very black coffee and heads back.
Suddenly – and this is a touch difficult to do in a silent film (subtitles??) – there is a vigorous knocking on the door. SW jumps out of her skin and the very large cup of very black coffee flies elegantly through the air.
Now the fun begins. A quarter of the coffee lands on her bare feet. Remember – it’s very hot. About half of it covers a large area of the carpet… the off white carpet. The rest goes into the laptop – of course. Just to finish it all off the cup lands on the keyboard, bounces, does a complete summersault (all the better to spill the last dregs) and takes off half of the keys.
The music goes up a notch from jaunty to manic. SW is now jumping from scalded foot to scalded foot – what to do first!!!??? Laptop is flung upside down, every clean teacloth in the house draped across the carpet and very red feet are run under the cold tap. One at a time – both at once would just be silly…
Luckily – insurance covers the repairs and replacements, no one died and all’s well but I still can’t believe I did something that daft. It must have looked so utterly ridiculous, you have to laugh!
And do you know what? I still have no idea who was at the door!